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Transformers: Dark of the Sham

Transformers: Dark of the Moon

The movie provided to be different than what I was expecting in my mind

I was excited. The third of the series between the epic Autobots and Decepticons, Transformers: Dark of the Moon was released just yesterday. The movie was going to be great since, well, it had to be (stupid expectations). The posters and trailers left me hyped. The reviews were shaky, on the negative side, but I decided to judge the movie after I saw it. After all, everyone has different taste and I actually enjoyed the second movie to some extent. I bought three tickets, one for me and two for my friends. My friends bought the Deluxe set for out popcorn/drinks and we went into the theater. We found, we sat, we saw.

And we were let down.

First thirty minutes into the movie, I was able to watch the movie. Pretty good, I thought. The CG became sharper than the previous two movies, worth my money. Movements were now more fluid, perhaps better acting by the main character, getting used to the new girl. It became easier to tell which robot was on which side and their actions were much cleaner. The movie seemed to be, so far, better than the movie before. The scenes seemed similar to the other films but since it was a series, I decided to let it pass from me. Perhaps Michal Bay was training us: repetition is key. During a moment of talking between characters (finally), I glanced at my right and saw my friend was awake. On my left, also awake, munching on the popcorn.

Skip forward to the climax, the friend on the right was in a half-dazes, half-zombie expression, leisurely sipping on her Coke while the friend on my left was sleeping; popcorn finished. I learned over to my left to fix her head. She was learning a bit too much to her left and the guy sitting next to her didn’t seem pleased. It also didn’t help that his girlfriend was giving my friend the “i’m-so-ready-to-give-this-girl-a-piece-of-my-effing-mind” glare. Even with this near-death conflict (the guy’s girlfriend had really long nails), the movie carried on. Sound of metal against metal, screams, crashes, explosions, short speaking lines from the hero. Action, action, action.

BOOM! BANG! KABASH! GLANG! 

Could it be duller than this?

By the end I was barely able to keep myself from yawning every minute and my two friends were asleep. If this was any other movie such as Inception or The King’s Speech, I would have slapped them to keep them awake (for various reasons.) For this movie, I allowed them to count their sheep. I hate when I fall asleep during a movie, whether it be good or bad so I drank my Fanta ’till I heard that annoying sound telling me that all I had left was ice in my cup.

The long-awaited credits began to roll and around me, people began to stand, stretch, and leave the cinema. I could still hear the sound of explosions in my ears, echoing. Guess I can’t plug-in earphones for a while. As I was waiting for my friends to gather their belongs, a couple sitting  behind me was talking and my female instincts went into action.

“The movie was so-so, don’t you think?”

“Sorry, I thought it was going to be better. At least the girl was pretty hot.”

“*Insert smack from the girlfriend*”

“I kid, I kid.”

I quickly woke up my two friends (the one on the left looking like a panda) and led them down the stairs, to the exit. We went out of the movie theater in silence, tossed our trash into the provided bins. The light was so striking, we all stood for a second trying to open our eyes. After gaining out sight, we  sat at the nearest empty bench.

More stretching, eye-rubbing, yawning.

“Well, that was.. erm.. interesting,” the friend who sat on my left remarked.

“Bullshit. That was the first movie I saw that didn’t look good even with 3D. Refresh me on why you dragged us to watch this?” The friend on my right spat out, glancing at me with her “i-told-you-so” look for the latter sentence.

“3D isn’t everything. And well, at least the robots carried much fluidity in their actions,” my whimpering mouth silently whispered.

“Nice way to say it. Look, admit it. The hype is a lie. The movie makers sure are supporting the ‘first-movie-in-the-series-is-the-best’ idea.”

“Ack, the Lord of the Rings series was good. And Toy Story.”

“My point is, as I said before, the hype is a lie.”

“Like a cake,” my left friend said. The two of us stared at her. My right friend began to speak but the left one shook her hand in disapproval.

“It’s like a cake that has amazing frosting around it, filled with decorations yet when you cut yourself a slice, the inside is all burnt and black.”

My friend and I stared at her some more and then nodded. We knew what she was talking about, even if her example was a bit.. strange.

The tree of us sat on that bench for another 10 minutes, chatting a bit, before we left to go to the arcade which was located right next to the theater. At least we knew what to expect there.

——–

I later arrived at my house and found the ticket in the right pocket of my jeans. I threw my Transformers: Dark of the Moon ticket into the trash. I should have just watched the movie on channel CGV (a Korean channel which shows movies). They would play the movie in a few years and I would be able to watch it for free.

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This entry was published on July 13, 2011 at 11:03 PM. It’s filed under Opinion, Review and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

One thought on “Transformers: Dark of the Sham

  1. I think my husband and I are the only people that have yet to see this movie. We were fans of the first two but have been too busy to see it. Thanks for the review! 🙂

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