I saw a movie once and there was a scene where a cow is killed. It showed the real process of gaining meat from the cow. When the cow cried out in pain, it left me bawling. My brother still teases me about this which happened two years ago. I guess I’m one of those emotional people. It’s not as though I can’t control my emotions, I know when to cry and when to joke. But I can’t suppress my natural emotions. It happens to everyone, doesn’t it? Although, no one seems to be crying when I am in the movies.
This embarrasses me much actually. When I watch a drama and tears start to form and no one else is this, um, sentimental, I try to wipe my tears in secret. It’s hard to handle the stares from my friends if they knew I cried when Bolt lets out a whimper towards his owner during the movie Bolt. But I cry a lot. I cried when Dumbledore died from the curse that Snape says in Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. I felt some teardrop slide down from my cheeks when my favorite character died in a manga. It’s during these moments that I wish I was all alone.
And this makes me mad also. If I was able to control my emotions correctly, then I wouldn’t be crying from my emotions when I have a fight with my parents. It angers me that I can’t explain to my Mom that I cry because, well, I’m emotional. Perhaps it’s because of the public view that I would be referred to as a “wimp” or a “child” if I shed a tear. As I become older, I’m to control my emotions more but is there an age limit to emotions? Is there a certain point in my life when I’m to stop crying anymore and have a steel heart? Quite bogus, actually.
People should be able to shed a tear when they wish to, in the middle of the road or during class. We should be allowed to show our emotions without weird stares from people we won’t see more than once (bawling however, should be held back since that may bother people. I think I’m going against what I just said.) Both gender should cry without any judgement. I mean, where was the rule that men are not allowed to cry. There is a saying in Korea that, “a man is to be allowed to cry only three times in their lives. First when he is born, second when his parents die, and finally, when he loses his country.”
If I was a man, I would have cried enough for over 1,000,000 men.
I can’t help it if I cry, it’s a natural act. But perhaps because I cry, I’m able to express myself more.